Writing Angry

I keep finding myself writing angry, which is actually the worst time to write.  But every time I want to say something worthwhile, I'm pissed about something.  That really can't be healthy, and it really can't be indicative of a stable mind.  Maybe I find more pleasure in the rant than in the writing... in which case, I will fail as a writer.  No one wants to listen to someone bitch, and few would read it.

That is, unless I become one of those writers.  Comedic writers.  You know the ones, the David Crosses, The George Carlins, the Bill Hicks; the ones with a chip on their shoulder and something to prove, where everything that comes out of them is a complaint.  You'd think something was wrong with them if they complimented you and didn't make it back-handed.  As funny as those men are, and hearing them rant is... I don't wanna be that.

I bird-walk.  What i'm getting at is that recently, all i've had on my mind is all the things out of my control, all the things I rebel against, fight to change, in my feeble way.  THIS is me controlling my life, fighting for change.  I haven't developed the skill of taking charge, taking action.  ...and I'm not saying you can't take charge with writing, I'm saying its not the same.  Dammit, I just bird-walked again.  I back-peddled, I stopped short of making a point, to point out something else.  Dammit, there it is again!


My name is Joshua Davis and I have something to say:

• I'm embarrassed by how we celebrate the death of a man; I'm embarrassed by the cheering that came when Osama Bin Laden was killed.  Are we so human, so animal, that we can't give a man respect in his end?
• I'm sick of working in environments that only support greed and superficial stability; get me the fuck out of children's retail, NOW!
• I'm so absolutely tired of being poor.  I've been out of my father's house and married for over five years (or maybe its six...), and I still have to go month to month, meal to meal.  And I don't own two cars, I don't wear nice clothing, I don't own the latest gadgets and electronics, I don't go to concerts and movies every weekend, I don't plan on going into debt, and I don't overspend.  My one crime is eating fast food, and that just makes me American.  Why the hell are we always broke!?!?
• I'm into lots of juvenile hobbies, but does that make me juvenile?  Maybe I could act like my grandfather, or chase "adult" passions and enjoy adult hobbies.  Anybody wanna hit the gym, talk about what they saw on TV last night?  Maybe we can compare stock portfolios or talk about our mortgages.
• I like to talk about myself.  Ya know what's funny?  I hate it!  I know I sound like an ass!
• I don't miss TV.  I don't want it, and I don't miss it.  Sure I'll catch a show on Netflix, or watch movies, but I don't miss the commercials or the scheduling of my time around some broadcasted garbage.  I'd prefer to waste my time on my own time, thank you.

Irony: this blog just devolved into more bitching.  And more bird-walking.  Digression.

I think its safe to say I just need to get it out of my system.  Today wasn't a good day for eloquence and brilliant observations.  I'm sure I'll have that in me later.

Yeah right.